The end of the year is fast approaching! Less than 12 hours to go (where I am).
It's been a quick year, with ups and downs and all arounds.
I've cried, I've laughed and I've swore more times than I care to admit :/
This year saw me start a new job, turn 26, visit St Ives and celebrate good friends getting engaged, see my husband turn 26, see my 1st niece born, have my 1st wedding anniversary and have a great Christmas with family and friends.
It's time for 2011.
Thank you all for reading my blog.
I wish everyone who visits a wonderful, happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.
2011, I'm ready for you!
Bring. It. On.
Friday, 31 December 2010
Thursday, 30 December 2010
doped up on the meds
Today I had my second scan on my wrist. The last scan was in January. It showed I had a Ganglion Cyst (Albert) that was 11mm long by 6mm wide. The doctor told me that it would go away on it's own.
Since then I have been back to see my GP 4 times. 4!
On the 3rd occassion I was told by the GP that they could remove the cyst, but they generally don't do that procedure anymore due to NHS cost cutting.
On the 4th time I saw a new GP. Not new to Medicine, but new to my Practice. He was lovely. He examined me, and referred me for another scan and also to a Rheumatologist. I had the scan today, and I'm seeing a consultant on the 7th February. He also advised that the pain I had been feeling was unlikely to be from the Cyst, but rather sounded like it could be Tendonitits.
For the last 5 days, I've had nothing but pain in my wrist. Regular pain meds don't seem to be making a dent in the pain. The pain is worse when I use my hand (it being my dominant hand means I use it all the time!) and now moves up the outside of my forearm and into my elbow.
I call the GP. Talk to him on the phone. He says it sounds a lot like Tendonitis, and basically says that's what is it, prescribes me some lovely stronger pain meds and says see you in a week to discuss the scan.
Fast forward to scan. The technician was great. He explained everything he was doing and talked me through the entire procedure. Just out of curiousity I asked him to check the median nerve was ok (in case the pain was from the lump pressing on it) and it was fine. Very close to the cyst, but on top, rather than underneath it and looking pretty healthy. I then ask him to check my tendons. This guy goes out of his way to scan the tendons where the pain is, and says, they look perfectly fine to me, nice and shiny (I have shiny tendons!). I asked him if the pain could be Tendonitis, and he says No, simply because the tendons aren't inflamed.
So now I am back to square one. I still have a stupid ganglion cyst, that hasn't gone away at all despite what my doctor said, and that hasn't really shrank either, and I still have the pain.
I still get pins and needles in my hand, and weakness and numbness.
If the Rheumatologist comes up with nothing, then I haven't a clue.
In the meantime, have a look at a scan of a ganglion cyst. It's the black blob. I have one and it's called Albert.
Since then I have been back to see my GP 4 times. 4!
On the 3rd occassion I was told by the GP that they could remove the cyst, but they generally don't do that procedure anymore due to NHS cost cutting.
On the 4th time I saw a new GP. Not new to Medicine, but new to my Practice. He was lovely. He examined me, and referred me for another scan and also to a Rheumatologist. I had the scan today, and I'm seeing a consultant on the 7th February. He also advised that the pain I had been feeling was unlikely to be from the Cyst, but rather sounded like it could be Tendonitits.
For the last 5 days, I've had nothing but pain in my wrist. Regular pain meds don't seem to be making a dent in the pain. The pain is worse when I use my hand (it being my dominant hand means I use it all the time!) and now moves up the outside of my forearm and into my elbow.
I call the GP. Talk to him on the phone. He says it sounds a lot like Tendonitis, and basically says that's what is it, prescribes me some lovely stronger pain meds and says see you in a week to discuss the scan.
Fast forward to scan. The technician was great. He explained everything he was doing and talked me through the entire procedure. Just out of curiousity I asked him to check the median nerve was ok (in case the pain was from the lump pressing on it) and it was fine. Very close to the cyst, but on top, rather than underneath it and looking pretty healthy. I then ask him to check my tendons. This guy goes out of his way to scan the tendons where the pain is, and says, they look perfectly fine to me, nice and shiny (I have shiny tendons!). I asked him if the pain could be Tendonitis, and he says No, simply because the tendons aren't inflamed.
So now I am back to square one. I still have a stupid ganglion cyst, that hasn't gone away at all despite what my doctor said, and that hasn't really shrank either, and I still have the pain.
I still get pins and needles in my hand, and weakness and numbness.
If the Rheumatologist comes up with nothing, then I haven't a clue.
In the meantime, have a look at a scan of a ganglion cyst. It's the black blob. I have one and it's called Albert.
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
Monday, 27 December 2010
Friday, 24 December 2010
A Christmas Message
Christmas is fast approaching. 1 more sleep in fact! One of the best poems about Christmas is this one.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar plums danc'd in their heads,
Tonight I shall have visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in my head, and depending on how much I've had to drink before bed (or how much cheese I have consumed) they make look like this.
On a serious note, I want to wish everyone a Happy Healthy Fabulous Christmas and a Brilliant and Drunken New Year!
With Love (and life and food!)
Becca
Thursday, 23 December 2010
Day 8 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 8
There are loads of people who have made my life hell, or treated me like shit. But I'm a firm believer of Karma - what goes around comes around. What you throw into the Universe will come back to you threefold, whether it's good or bad.
Where shall I start?
At School - I'd just moved to the UK from the Cayman Islands. I was different and kids are cruel. I spoke differently, so some kids in my class picked on me for that. Every time I spoke they mocked me. Repeating everything I said, in a high pitchy whiney voice (that apparantly was supposed to be how I spoke). Eventually they stopped, only for another group of kids (a click of girls) who started spreading a rumour that I was a lesbian, and teasing me every day, shouting obscenities and just generally being a bunch of bitches. One day I threatened to thump one of them, and eventually they quit it. Then I grew boobs and suddenly became popular. Smart and with boobs. I liked school after that.
I left school and went straight into work, I decided I didn't want to go to College/University. Glad I didn't to be honest, because I would have done a degree with no real worth in the job world, up to my eye balls in debt and struggling. (I ended up with 2 out of those 3 anyway). The girls who teased me? Majority of them ended up having several kids with several different men, and on benefits. The girl who started the rumour that I was a lesbian. She came out a few years back. I like to think she had the hots for me.
After School - I met this guy, we'll call him Frank (Frank isn't really his name) Frank was lovely and we fell in love and wanted to get married and have babies and live happily ever after. Frank's parents were strict Muslims. Frank became controlling. Frank had no job and because I was blindly in love, I put him on my credit card, and paid for everything. Whilst in the last 2 months of our relationship, he ran up debts in my name. Frank then was not only controlling but became rather obsessive, and one day he had me up by the throat against the wall. I stood up for myself and gave him one hell of a smack in the face. We split up after that. I met another guy, and Frank came back on the scene, to STALK me. Frank eventually got the message. He left me alone. Frank is now a police officer with London's Metropolitan Police Service.
At Work - I wrote about this. This guy still wants to be my friend. He sends me Facebook messages, and texts saying things such as "thank for been my friend", I talk to him, but he's not now, or will ever be my friend. My boss doesn't seem to have a very good opinion of me based on this guys lies. When he's in the room I see him giving me the "look", you know, the one where they show a bit of disgust? yeah, that look. I suspect that this will hold me back from any type of progression. If it does, then I'll have no choice but to leave and find a job with another company.
So these are my 3 experiences of someone(s) who have made my life hell or treated me like shit. I suspect that they won't be the last three experiences I have. But I live by this rule.
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
Day 7 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
The answer has to be me.
I'm the person that makes my life worth living for. Is that selfish? or (whats the word i'm looking for?)
There are many many people (and things!) that make me happy in life. But I firmly believe that I am the person who makes my life worth living for.
My Husband
My Family
My Friends
Food
Internets
All of these things (and people!) would be sad if I were not here, well maybe the Internets wouldn't care so much, or food. In fact food would probably be relieved that it has one less person munching on it.
Monday, 20 December 2010
Holiday Buzz
It's 5 days till Christmas, and I'm getting more excited than I thought possible. (I know! I didn't think it was possible either!)
I've finished all the Christmas shopping (barring the pets), and wrapping, and I have 3 more days to go at work before I finish for the holidays! 3 more days! Then I have 6 days off before I have to head back to work.
Although I suspect those 3 days are going to be sheer hell due to the weather. Getting in will be a hassle, dealing with our passengers will be challenging, and getting home will be, well, not fun.
I'm very much looking forward to Christmas. Last year my husband had to work, so I didn't really see him until mid afternoon.
This year he is off! and so am I! It's going to be awesome and I can't wait.
We're off to the mother-in-law's for Christmas. Cooking, eating, presents and Champagne. BLISS!
Boxing day evening, we will be spent quietly at home, together, before we head to my parents on the 27th, for a buffet lunch and more presents and wine.
28th and 29th getting over Christmas and relaxing and then back to work on the 30th.
It'll be busy, but I love it.
Can't wait!
I've finished all the Christmas shopping (barring the pets), and wrapping, and I have 3 more days to go at work before I finish for the holidays! 3 more days! Then I have 6 days off before I have to head back to work.
Although I suspect those 3 days are going to be sheer hell due to the weather. Getting in will be a hassle, dealing with our passengers will be challenging, and getting home will be, well, not fun.
I'm very much looking forward to Christmas. Last year my husband had to work, so I didn't really see him until mid afternoon.
This year he is off! and so am I! It's going to be awesome and I can't wait.
We're off to the mother-in-law's for Christmas. Cooking, eating, presents and Champagne. BLISS!
Boxing day evening, we will be spent quietly at home, together, before we head to my parents on the 27th, for a buffet lunch and more presents and wine.
28th and 29th getting over Christmas and relaxing and then back to work on the 30th.
It'll be busy, but I love it.
Can't wait!
Day 6 → Something you hope you never have to do.
I hope I never have to watch a loved one die.
By loved one I mean my husband, my parents, my siblings, my kids.
It's probably inevitable that my parents will die before I do, that being that they are 20 & 24 years older than me, chances are they will die before me unless I fall ill with a terminal illness or I am in a tragic accident.
I never want to feel the pain of watching a loved one pass away.
I never want to experience the grief of losing a child.
I honestly don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with those kind of emotions or experiences.
It's something I hope I never have to do.
By loved one I mean my husband, my parents, my siblings, my kids.
It's probably inevitable that my parents will die before I do, that being that they are 20 & 24 years older than me, chances are they will die before me unless I fall ill with a terminal illness or I am in a tragic accident.
I never want to feel the pain of watching a loved one pass away.
I never want to experience the grief of losing a child.
I honestly don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with those kind of emotions or experiences.
It's something I hope I never have to do.
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Day 5 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 5.
So here I am continuing this project of 30 days of truth. I started it back in October, and now it's nearly the end of December (days are disappearing fast!) and I'm only on day 5. I'm back to my habit of blogging for a few days and then nothing for a few weeks. It's a vicious circle. I suspect it'll be June before I finish!
There are a lot of things that I hope to do in my life. I think the list will continue to grow with each year that passes. Some things I will manage to do, and others will fall by the wayside with no chance of ever being acheived.
I've already done a few of them, like get married for example. On September 19th 2009, I married the most amazing man ever. The day was awesome, even the part where I messed up my vows and caused the Registrar to mess up his part also, and we had to start all over again!
Some of the things I hope to do in my Life.
Getting a pet monkey is another thing that will probably never happen. My husband won't even let me get a kitten or a puppy. Can you imagine how ape-shit (heh.) he'd be if I came home with a monkey!?!?
Travelling. Currently can't afford to travel, and by the time we can afford to, we'll need to use the money to buy a house and start a family. It's unlikely that I'll get to go on that round the world trip until I'm in my 60's and I drag the husband to the cruise liner in Southampton on the 4th January for a 4 month cruise! Saying that, it's not like I haven't travelled. I'm 26. I've been to lots of places.
I guess the main thing I hope to do in my life is to have my own home and a family. Whether or not that happens remains to be seen, but it's my biggest hope right now. I hope that I'm blessed and my hopes become reality, but all I can do is wait and see.
So here I am continuing this project of 30 days of truth. I started it back in October, and now it's nearly the end of December (days are disappearing fast!) and I'm only on day 5. I'm back to my habit of blogging for a few days and then nothing for a few weeks. It's a vicious circle. I suspect it'll be June before I finish!
There are a lot of things that I hope to do in my life. I think the list will continue to grow with each year that passes. Some things I will manage to do, and others will fall by the wayside with no chance of ever being acheived.
I've already done a few of them, like get married for example. On September 19th 2009, I married the most amazing man ever. The day was awesome, even the part where I messed up my vows and caused the Registrar to mess up his part also, and we had to start all over again!
 | ||
| wedding day! |
Some of the things I hope to do in my Life.
- Buy a house and make it a loving home.
- Have a baby, followed by more babies, spaced a few years apart of course.
- Travel the world, see the sights and be AMAZED.
- Start my own business and succeed at it.
- Have enough money that I can give my kids all they need to succeed in life and be comfortable.
- Get over my fear of spiders and enclosed spaces.
- Be a great mother and wife.
- Write a book, followed by a few more to turn my first book into a series.
- Become a professional chef and run a Michelin Star restaurant.
- Get a tattoo.
- Be the person who gets to solve the Middle Eastern Peace Crisis.
- Develop a magical power, like Piper in Charmed. Freezing crap and Blowing shit up would be so full of awesomeness.
- Direct a Hollywood Blockbuster.
- Travel into Space.
- Get a pet monkey.
- Timetravel.
- Own an orphanage and help kids who need a mother/father figure and a loving home.
Getting a pet monkey is another thing that will probably never happen. My husband won't even let me get a kitten or a puppy. Can you imagine how ape-shit (heh.) he'd be if I came home with a monkey!?!?
Travelling. Currently can't afford to travel, and by the time we can afford to, we'll need to use the money to buy a house and start a family. It's unlikely that I'll get to go on that round the world trip until I'm in my 60's and I drag the husband to the cruise liner in Southampton on the 4th January for a 4 month cruise! Saying that, it's not like I haven't travelled. I'm 26. I've been to lots of places.
 |
| Helicoptering in the Caymans |
 |
| St.Tropez, South of France |
 |
| Turtle Farm, Grand Cayman |
 |
| Prague |
 |
| Flayosc, South of France |
 |
| Cayman Islands |
 |
| Loch Lomond, Scotland |
 | |
| Souks in Marrakech |
 |
| Overlooking Djemm el Fna in Marrakech. |
I guess the main thing I hope to do in my life is to have my own home and a family. Whether or not that happens remains to be seen, but it's my biggest hope right now. I hope that I'm blessed and my hopes become reality, but all I can do is wait and see.
Recipe - Pesto Sprouts
I got this recipe from my Mother-in-Law, who is a professional chef and teacher. She's amazing at what she does, and makes the MOST delicious cakes and scones, and well to be honest, pretty much everything that comes out of her kitchen is delicious. I've put my own twist on it (albiet a very small twist!)
You can serve it with pretty much any kind of white poultry such as Chicken and Turkey, which makes it ideal for Thanksgiving or Christmas. It's also a good way of getting your kids to eat sprouts, cause it tastes so delicious! You can also add to it if you wished, with other green veg, such as cabbage, leeks, spinach etc.
So here you have it.
What you Need -
Brussel Sprouts
Double Cream
Green Pesto
Fresh Whole Nutmeg
Salt and Pepper
What you Do -
You can serve it with pretty much any kind of white poultry such as Chicken and Turkey, which makes it ideal for Thanksgiving or Christmas. It's also a good way of getting your kids to eat sprouts, cause it tastes so delicious! You can also add to it if you wished, with other green veg, such as cabbage, leeks, spinach etc.
So here you have it.
What you Need -
Brussel Sprouts
Double Cream
Green Pesto
Fresh Whole Nutmeg
Salt and Pepper
What you Do -
- Slice the Brussel Sprouts finely. I'd recommed between 8 and 9 sprouts per person. Or more if you think people will want seconds!
 |
| slicing |
- Put sliced sprouts in a huge mixing bowl, and season with salt, pepper and follow with a good grating of the nutmeg.
 |
| sliced and seasoned |
- Mix in about 1 tablespoon of pesto per person.
- Pour over 200ml of double cream.
- Mix thoroughly, and add more cream if you feel it needs it.
- Put mixture into an over-proof dish and grate nutmeg on the top.
 | |
| mixed and ready for the oven |
- Cook in a pre-heated oven for 35 minutes, stirring half way through, on gasmark 6 or 180C.
 |
| finished dish |
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Saturday, 4 December 2010
Day 4 → Something you have to forgive someone for
To quote myself - "I guess forgiveness is important in life. Without forgiveness you harbour a grudge. It makes you bitter. It means that you don't grow as a person and you don't learn from your mistakes."
I know I'm right with this one, but to be honest, I kind of don't want to be.
How long do you make a person wait before you tell them that you forgive them for their stupid and hurtful behaviour? Is there a time limit?
I have to forgive someone, but I don't want to. This person thinks that if I say I forgive you then things can go back to "normal" and we can continue to be friends like nothing has happened. It doesn't work that way. I can't seem to make them realise that. That trust? That friendship? It's GONE.
About 3 weeks ago, a person who I've helped very much since I've known him, made a big mistake. He told a serious lie and when called on it he lied about the original lie (and then he cried and tried to look the victim).
The lie? He told the people we work with that I had been spreading rumours about him and another colleague (female) having an affair. He did this after messaging the other female colleauge and telling her that he had feelings for her and she advised him that she didn't reciprocate those feelings! For the record this guy and the female colleague never had any intimate relationship.
I never made any comments about this rumour, and for him to lie about such a serious thing makes me extremley cross. Subsequently my bosses told me off. Bosses also told off the colleague who he was apparantly having an affair with. We got into trouble for something we didn't do, and he got treated like the victim. He sat at the table and cried, said he didn't say that I had said he was having sex with another colleague and that I must have gotten my "wires crossed".
Since then I've hardly spoken to him, and neither has the other girl I work with. In fact neither of us can really stand to work with him. After the incident he bombarded us with text messages and phone calls despite us asking him to leave us alone.
About a week ago, he came up to me, whilst I was on my own in the lunch room, and he asked me to forgive him. He cried. I asked him why he did what he did and he said "I don't know".
I replied that he must have known why he did it otherwise he wouldn't have said such nasty things in the first place.
He said, "I don't know why I did it, I wish I hadn't said those things and I'm very sorry."
I pushed him for an explanation. I wanted to know so badly what I had done to him for him to say such lies. I asked him over and over and in the end he said "I did it because I was in a bad place!"
A bad place. He was in a bad place. So he LIED. He LIED about something so serious, that I was "reminded" that I was still in my probabtionary period and it was suggested that my employment could be terminated if I spread rumours again. He LIED because HE was in a BAD PLACE.
I gave him advice when he left his wife and kids. I helped him look for places to live when he was about to be made homeless. I had him in my house and fed him because he wasn't eating properly (to be fair he did invite himself over and I couldn't tell him he wasn't welcome, but oh how I WISH I did). I cheered him up when he was feeling low, and to pay me back he LIED because he was in a bad place.
I know that everyone deserves forgiveness, and going back to my quote, I am right, and yes I do harbour a grudge on this occassion, but I can't help it. I am so mad about this and so hurt that someone who I considered a friend would do such a thing.
He doesn't deserve my friendship or my trust, and in all honesty there is no way that he will ever fix this.
In light of my own words, I have to forgive this person, otherwise I'll hold a grudge and it will make me bitter. On this occassion, I am OK with that. What I've learnt from this is to be a little more hard, to not be so nice to people, because you never know when people will turn around and stab you in the back.
I DO NOT forgive you, I DO NOT want to be your friend and I DO NOT trust you. You have made the baby Jesus cry.
I know I'm right with this one, but to be honest, I kind of don't want to be.
How long do you make a person wait before you tell them that you forgive them for their stupid and hurtful behaviour? Is there a time limit?
I have to forgive someone, but I don't want to. This person thinks that if I say I forgive you then things can go back to "normal" and we can continue to be friends like nothing has happened. It doesn't work that way. I can't seem to make them realise that. That trust? That friendship? It's GONE.
About 3 weeks ago, a person who I've helped very much since I've known him, made a big mistake. He told a serious lie and when called on it he lied about the original lie (and then he cried and tried to look the victim).
The lie? He told the people we work with that I had been spreading rumours about him and another colleague (female) having an affair. He did this after messaging the other female colleauge and telling her that he had feelings for her and she advised him that she didn't reciprocate those feelings! For the record this guy and the female colleague never had any intimate relationship.
I never made any comments about this rumour, and for him to lie about such a serious thing makes me extremley cross. Subsequently my bosses told me off. Bosses also told off the colleague who he was apparantly having an affair with. We got into trouble for something we didn't do, and he got treated like the victim. He sat at the table and cried, said he didn't say that I had said he was having sex with another colleague and that I must have gotten my "wires crossed".
Since then I've hardly spoken to him, and neither has the other girl I work with. In fact neither of us can really stand to work with him. After the incident he bombarded us with text messages and phone calls despite us asking him to leave us alone.
About a week ago, he came up to me, whilst I was on my own in the lunch room, and he asked me to forgive him. He cried. I asked him why he did what he did and he said "I don't know".
I replied that he must have known why he did it otherwise he wouldn't have said such nasty things in the first place.
He said, "I don't know why I did it, I wish I hadn't said those things and I'm very sorry."
I pushed him for an explanation. I wanted to know so badly what I had done to him for him to say such lies. I asked him over and over and in the end he said "I did it because I was in a bad place!"
A bad place. He was in a bad place. So he LIED. He LIED about something so serious, that I was "reminded" that I was still in my probabtionary period and it was suggested that my employment could be terminated if I spread rumours again. He LIED because HE was in a BAD PLACE.
I gave him advice when he left his wife and kids. I helped him look for places to live when he was about to be made homeless. I had him in my house and fed him because he wasn't eating properly (to be fair he did invite himself over and I couldn't tell him he wasn't welcome, but oh how I WISH I did). I cheered him up when he was feeling low, and to pay me back he LIED because he was in a bad place.
I know that everyone deserves forgiveness, and going back to my quote, I am right, and yes I do harbour a grudge on this occassion, but I can't help it. I am so mad about this and so hurt that someone who I considered a friend would do such a thing.
He doesn't deserve my friendship or my trust, and in all honesty there is no way that he will ever fix this.
In light of my own words, I have to forgive this person, otherwise I'll hold a grudge and it will make me bitter. On this occassion, I am OK with that. What I've learnt from this is to be a little more hard, to not be so nice to people, because you never know when people will turn around and stab you in the back.
I DO NOT forgive you, I DO NOT want to be your friend and I DO NOT trust you. You have made the baby Jesus cry.
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