"knocked out by my nunga nungas"

It really frustrates me to no end, when I get up one day to realise that none of my bras fit me anymore.  well. barring one, that fits, but only just.  Not only does it mean that I have to spend huge amounts of time finding the right bra that not only covers my nunga-nungas, but also restrains them so I don't put anyones eyes out, it also means that I have to spend copious amounts of money (in this job, money is pretty much non-existent!), AND that my boobs are still increasing in size.  I'm 25! soon to be 26!  Surely they should have stopped growing by now? right?

sigh.

I have no qualms about who knows what size my boobs are, cause lets face it, it's clear to the world that they're pretty humongous. and no. no I'm not exaggerating.  In 2007 the average bra size for a woman in the UK was 36C.  I was a 32C when I was 15.  I've always had big boobs, much to my horror, my friends jealousy and the boys delight.  10 years later I am a 36H. well.... I was.  It seems I've grown. again.  So now I have to go and be tested measured again.

All throughout my teenage years all I got from the boys was "oi! big boobs!" "show us ya boobs" "allright Dolly Parton?" "how big are your boobs?" "can I seem em?" "are they real?" -  you say it, i'm sure i've heard it at some point.  All I got from the girls was "you are so lucky, your boobs are massive" "wish my boobs were as big as yours" and then all I got from family "someone got the boob gene" "you should give me some of your boobs".  You can have 'em as far as I'm concerned.  Do you know how much they cost?!? to maintain, I might add, not to buy from a surgeon.

Did you know that boobs come with Health issues?  and I don't just mean breast cancer, but lots of other things too.  Such as Pytosis (sagging boobs), fibrocystic disease and breast pain (breast pain is called Mastalgia), Shoulder Pain, and Back Pain.  Not only does a woman have to worry about sagging boobs, but also the impact of bra's that are too tight fitting (these can constrict your lympahtic system and press on your nerves).  It's really unbelievable how many women are wearing the wrong sized bra.  Ladies, go get yourself tested - uh, measured.

Which brings me on to the subject of bra buying.  If you thought shopping was stressful (and some of you don't) bra shopping is horrible.  It's all well and fine if you are a 32B, 32C, 32D, 32DD, but the moment your boobs have grown to the size of small cantelope melons, then it becomes a problem. AND. just like clothes aren't all the same size (you'd think so right?!?) neither are bra's.  for instance a bra by marks and spencers Autograph range in a 34G, isn't the same size as a bra by Triumph's 34G bra.  hence, the stress.

So you're out shopping, and you see this pretty lacy pink bra, and you think, "that's nice" and you search through the rack, and oh. wait. only goes up to a 32D.  Nevermind, carry on. Then you see a really cute black balconette bra, with gold embroidary, and you think "ooh, that's pretty sexy" and you search through the rack, and oh. wait. only goes up to a 32D. (can you see where I'm going with this?)  After half an hour of looking at bra's, my blood pressure it up, and I'm grinding my teeth.  If it wasn't for the fact I have big boobs, I'd go braless. oh, and for the fact I may injure myself doing that.

Buying bra's for bigger boobs always ends up with me looking at really ugly hideous ones, or maternity and nursing bras.  Ocassionally when I do find a really cute bra, in my size, it's out of stock.  Sometimes I just got to suck it up and pay £32 for a plain bra. a decent plain bra at that.  Which I don't mind, but it's not like you can just buy 1.  You need at least 4 plain ones, and that's £128.  Then you got to have the "nice" ones for when you want to, y'know, get it on with your husband/boyfriend/guy next door etc.  Then you got to have a little slutty number for dirty weekends away.  It all adds up.
Not to mention, that when you become pregnant, your boobs get even bigger, and then you have to buy all new bras.

Sometimes I wish I had apples instead of melons.

God forbid I have kids, cause at the rate I'm going I probably won't be able to breastfeed without worrying if I'll crush my babies head. (That's not possible right?!?)

Guess I'd better make an appointment for a fitting and spend the last of the funds in my account on new bras before I get knocked out by my nunga nungas.

Gay Cruise Ships - Yay, Nay, or Rapists and Murders - the Debate.

Wow - 2 posts in the same day! I am on FIRE!!

Sooooo, I got into a debate today, well, to be honest, it's still not done, but I've been twittering about it, so I thought I'd share what I have so far.

A bit about the story.  The Cayman Islands, is where I'm from.  Homosexuality between consenting adults only became legal in 2002.  Today a Cruise Ship (Liberty of the Seas) docked, carrying 2000 gay, lesbian couples. The cruise had already caused controversy in some quarters of the community (The Church) as the ship had been chartered by a tour operator catering to gay tourism.  They wanted the ship to be banned.  It hasn't been.  On top of that, a 37 year old man was found dead in his cabin just after lunch today.

The Liberty of the Seas.










And here the debate starts. on Facebook no less.

******  is people watchin today...yo people are so not subtle about being homophobic!
2 hours ago via Facebook for BlackBerry

Becca Jayne Masters
I do feel sorry for all those gay people who just want to visit paradise :/

*****
Ya see it...I personally love um!

(Person I am Debating)
batty ppl in cayman? like a cruise ship or someting?

Becca Jayne Masters
yeah, the church was trying to stop it or something, something about PDA's not in standing with caymans religious background. but they stopped there anyway.
i think it's great. just think if they'd turned them away, that's be 3000 people not spending their $$$'s in cayman.

******
Well hear this....just what they needed...possible murder investigation on the ship

Becca Jayne Masters
oh dear god.
seriously?!?!

(Person I am Debating)
i could live without dat 3000 (2999) ppl spendin dey money in cayman....3000 out of millions not very much is it.

*******
http://www.caymannewsservice.com/headline-news/2010/01/21/body-found-cruise-ship

Becca Jayne Masters
it's better than no tourists coming to the island though ain't it.
i'd rather have 2999 people spending their money than no one.
wonder how that man died?


(Person I am Debating)
why would there be no tourists comin to cayman? nothin stoppin the rest of em from comin....as bad as jam is dey still gt tourist so why deyy would stop comin cayman....theres bout 15 plus ships a week every week of the year this one dat comes every once n awhile not goin be missed.

Becca Jayne Masters
all I'm saying, is it's a stupid thing for them to have wanted to turn away a cruiseship cause it's been chartered by a company that promotes gay tourism.
besides i bet that there are quite a few gay, lesbians, bisexuals or transexuals that use the regular non gay tourist chartered cruiseships.
there's not really much difference.

(Person I am Debating)
but the country itself does not accept the gay community....so basically your sayin that we should allow a cruise ship promoting rapist and murderer tourism because rapists and murderers come on the ships that dont support them anyway. there is a difference. if the states or england said they didnt support the gay community do you think they would... See More allow them to enter there country in a similar situation? no they wouldnt. so just cuz cayman is small and not as powerful as these other countries doesnt mean we should bend our own rules and morals to accommodate these ppl.

Becca Jayne Masters
Forstly, sorry ***** for starting a debate on your wall!
(Person I am Debating), where does it state anywhere that this cruiseship catering for the gay community promotes "rapist and murdering"?
a guy died, yes, but until the investigation has been completed, for all we know the guy could have had a heart attack.... See More
rapists and murders come in all forms, not just homosexual forms. lets not forget that.
there is nothing wrong with being gay and i appreciate that not everyone shares the same viewpoint as I do. I appreciate that as a country Cayman doesn't support the gay community, however it's no longer illegal, and hasn't been since 2002 (if memory servces me correctly).
The only issue here is that the Church Leaders in Cayman think it's wrong, banning a cruiseship full of gay people because they think it's "wrong" is wrong in itself, especially when the govertment declared that consenting adults practicing homosexuality was legal 7 years ago.
these are people just like anyone else, why shouldn't we let them see how beautiful our island is and how friendly our community is?


More to come - I Guess
___________________________________

And the more to come is here - 21.34

(Person I am Debating)
FIRSTLY i didnt say that the gay ppl were murderers or rapists it was just an analogy to enforce my point. secondly it is only legal in cayman because we are still under british law and for that reason alone it is legal. the word country maybe shouldnt have been used...the nation (the people residing in the country) itself does not accept the gay ... See Morecommunity. so regardless of the law, for the society's sake alone they should not be allowed to come. and the debate here has nothing to do with whether the gay community are like everyone else or not. the FACT is they are not accepted by the majority (large majority) of the community. so technically speaking their coming can be regarded as disturbing the peace.


******* (person's who status it is)
Lol...it seems I have started quite a debate between the two of you on my wall. Honestly no apology needed, I think everybody is entitled to there own opinion about the matter. I personally do not have an issue with it, gay, straight, in the closet or out if they are at peace with themselves and there life styles then what the hell leave um be, I ... See Moream most def at peace with myself...they na hurtin or botherin me.

Oh Rato u ma boy and all and I completely see ur point but the price our island pays for being "developed" and a "tourist destination" is this. We can't say that we are a tourist destination and discriminate against who does or doesn't come here, fortunately that choice is not left up to us, we made an agreement with the rest of the Western tourist attracting hemisphere to take into our island the good, the bad, the ugly and the gay!!! Lol



Becca Jayne Masters
"so basically your sayin that we should allow a cruise ship promoting rapist and murderer tourism" - so where did this anaolgy come from? just curious.

I can't believe that Homosexuality is only legal in the Caymans because you are still under British Law. Just because the UK is the head of State doesn't mean that all your laws are because due to this. For example, Tax. If it were the case, Caymanians would be paying income tax, because that is the Law in the UK. Every citizen should pay tax on their income.

What about peoples basic human rights? Doesn't everyone have the right to decide on their sexuality?... See More

Can we look at the reasons as to why the majority of the nation believes that Homosexuality is wrong? is it the Church? Is it the fact that older members of the community have instilled this belief into the younger generations?

And furthermore, who made them God? cause lets face it, a big belief in Christianity is that it will be God who casts judgement on those seeking to enter heaven. if this is the case, then surely it should be Him and Him alone who makes this judgement. not his worshippers.
What Church does the Nation of Cayman follow anyway? Cause it sure aint the Church of England, it can't be. As far as they're concerned, there's nothing wrong with the act of homosexuality, they've got Gay clergymen for crying out loud.

i think (Person I am Debating), on this one, we're going to have to agree to disagree. Cause if we continue to debate this, we'll be here for years to come.

Lets's see if it continues past here...
_______________________________________

I quite like debating.

Mrs Flams Carrot Cake

My brother-in-law Alan, has a food blog and has inspired me to write down my own recipes.  Rather than create a new blog, I'm just using this one.

Mrs Flams Carrot Cake

Ingredients

• 300g of plain flour
• 1 tsp of baking powder
• 1/2 tsp of bicarbonate soda
• 2 tsp of cinnamon
• 200g of soft brown sugar
• 4 eggs
• 250ml of Vegetable Oil
• 1 orange zested
• 1 lemon zested
• 150g of walnuts (omit the walnuts if you are making the cake for someone with a nut allergy)
  
• 250g of finely grated carrot
• 1 large apple peeled, cored and finely grated (optional)

for the cream cheese frosting

• 125g unsalted soft butter
• 70g icing sugar
• 250g of cream cheese
• a splash of vanilla extract
  

you will also need a 10cm deep cake tin.

And this is how you make it.

Seive your flour into a large bowl and add the sugar, baking powder, bicarbonate soda and cinnamon.  With a wooden spoon (or your hands if you are feeling messy) mix the dry ingredients well.

In a seperate bowl, beat your 4 eggs until smooth.

Add your eggs and oil to the dry mixture and mix until there are no lumps.  (if the mixture is too wet, add some flour)  At this point I'd recommend using the wooden spoon.

Add the zest of the orange and lemon, as well as your carrots, apple and walnuts, and ensure that you mix thoroughly.

Lightly grease the cake tin, and pour your mixture into the tin.

Bake in an oven on gas mark 3 for approximately one and a half hours. (make sure you have preheated your oven)

If you find the your cake isn't quite ready, leave it in the oven for another 10-15 minutes.

For the cream cheese frosting (yumyum)

Cream the butter in a bowl, and then add the icing sugar and vanilla extract.  Stir the sugar and vanilla extract into the butter and then fold in your cream cheese, and mix well until the icing is smooth and creamy.

Once your cake has cooled, you can then put your frosting on.

It should look something like this

Serve with hot coffee and sit back and enjoy.

dear tuesday

dear Tuesday, you really suck, you know that?

having a MRI - and why, quite possibly, I'm a wuss.

So on Saturday I nearly died, ok, scrap that, perhaps I'm being a little over the top and generally exaggerating.  So I'll start again.
On Saturday I had to have an MRI.  I'm sure I've blogged about the problems I've had with my hands before. Yeah, I'm sure I did, here.

So, I have a nuerologist, his name is Dr Shakir, and when I first met him he really put me at ease.  I could have damaged nerves and therefore I'd need to have an MRI scan.  That, was fine. I looked up what happens, it seemed ok.  I was a little worried, being claustrobic and all, but I was told by so many people that it's not scary etc. I'd be fine, you can see out of the tube, there's a mirror etc.

Still a little worried, I tottered off on the 9th of Jan (Saturday) a meer 11 days after my consultation with the Dr, which considering this is the NHS, it's pretty good.  Usually you have to wait 6 weeks for appointments. 

I get to Queen Mary Hospital in Paddington, and find where I am meant to go, and no word of a lie, my scan was to take place in a lorry.  I twittered about it. A LORRY!?!  That alone put my anxiety levels up even higher than they already were.

The hubs and I had lunch (my steak was pretty good).  I was tempted to have a glass of wine for dutch courage, but my hubs told me that chances are it might affect the scan results, so I didn't.  Then I went to the lorry. (A LORRY!?!?!?!)

They were lovely there, these two little chinese, korean, oriental men.  I took my shoes off, my underwired booby hostage contraption etc etc, and I layed on the bed as instructed.  The radiologist put a foam cushion under my lower legs to support them.  He gave me head phones, and then put this contraption over my neck and upper chest.

Already my heart was pounding away.  It pounds now just re-living it.

The machine was loud, it banged and made various crashing noises, not the least bit comforting.  I had a little balloon that I could squeeze if I needed to, if I needed help.

I closed my eyes, the bed was raised with a whirring sound to go with the clanks and bangs, then it began to slide into the machine.  I was being slid into the tiniest space ever.  I could not move my arms, they were ramrod straight down by my sides.  When all the way in, I opened my eyes.  This I think, is what set me off. 

All I could see was 2 white panels seperated by a light blue line.  I swear to god my face was less than 2 inches away from those panels.  I started breathing a little quicker, and the guy said to me "you can open you're eyes if you want to" and I remember saying "I think I'll keep them closed" and then I started to freak out.  Just a little bit.

I tried to control my breathing, but then the music started and this stupid man starts singing about a bouncing ball, and then I lost it.  I'm in a tiny tube, being sung to by a strange man about a bouncing ball, when lets face it, there is no room in here to bounce a ball.  What the eff kind of music is that to play anyway?  Couldn't you play some chart hits, or something classical?
 
At this point (it seems like it was forever, but it was about 30 seconds) I squeeze my panic button as hard as I could, and begin hyperventilating, positive I was going to be crushed to death.  The man pulls me out of the tube quicker than a fat kid can eat a twinky and I'm this hysterical crying mess.  It's like someone told a 7 year old that Santa, the toothfairy and the easter bunny have all died in a plane crash, without the snot.

Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a severe arachnaphobe.  Just the sight of a small 8 legged creature and I'm a mess, god forbid if it's a big one.  I once stopped breathing because there was one right by my head.  Someone slapped me across the face to get me breathing again.  I know exactly how I feel when I see one.  My heartrate increases, my breathing stops for a fraction of a second and then I'm sucking air as if my life depended on it.  Having an MRI was 150 million times worse.  (I'm also asthmastic, so you get the picture when I start hyperventilating)

I have never felt such fear in my life.  I am afraid of this.

It doesn't look so scary there, but just you wait until you get inside it!


My husband is afraid of flying, and I did understand.  I understood his fear, I hugged him when we went on a fear of flying course, I hugged him when he apologised, I hugged him when he dropped me to the airport and I went through security on my own, and I cried terribly on the other end.  But I didn't understand.  I didn't truly understand his fear until Saturday, when I thought I was going to die.

Just thinking about it makes my heart race and makes me feel dizzy and sick.

On Saturday, I am positive I nearly died.  My fear is irrational and I've never heard of anyone being crushed to death by an MRI scanner, but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen right?  Or am I being totally irrational again?

It's now 2 days on, and I still have to control my breathing when I think about being in that scanner.  If I didn't control my breathing I'd have an asthma attack and end up in hospital.  My heart still races when I think about it, and on a few occassions I have gotten myself so worked up I've nearly cried.  But I control it, cause I don't want people to think I'm a wuss.

The truth is, I may have some nerve damage, or disease that can only be diagnosed by an MRI.  I'm going to ask if I can have a CT scan.  That looks much less scarier.  However, I suspect that I am only going to be diagnoised with an MRI.  My options are an MRI or not be diagnosed.

My hands are that much of a problem, that I don't think I can live with not knowing what is wrong.  So I may just have to suck it up, along with a whole load of sedatives and lay in that tiny tiny space for 13 minutes and 27 seconds and see what happens.

It's not that long really, and in fact I have spent more time waiting for a bus.  I just don't know if I can spend that long in a tiny space with the fear that I am going to be crushed to death.
But if my husband can spend 2 hours on a flight to Nice, I think I can probably muster up enough courage to spend less than 14 minutes in a tube.

Actually - nope - I can't.  They are really going to have to drug me up nice and good next time.

I am a wuss.  it's official.  you heard it here first.

and the cold snap continues.

This is the image from NASA's Terra satellite of the UK on the 7th January 2010.  Isn't it just pretty?  Well it is.  Even though, we are sick to death of the disruption to the roads, the railways, hospital waiting times, etc etc etc.  The UK never get winter weather like this.  Canada - yep, Northern American States - yep, Scandanavia - yep, Russia - yep, The North Pole - yep (although technically that doesn't count, cause the NP has flying reindeer) 

So why is it, that the UK cannot cope?  Where I live, there has been about 7 inches of snow, some places in Scotland and Manchester have about 4 feet!  However the UK, never gets weather like this, therefore hasn't invested in snowplows to clear the roads, so instead they pay local farmers to use their tractors.... real efficient.

Because the UK never gets weather like this, there isn't enough grit, for the icy roads.  In less than a week, the entire countries supply has run out.  They've shipped some in from Egypt (!!!) and now grit is being rationed 1940's style, and instead of gritting all the roads, only the major roads are being gritted.  All the rest are left, so whilst walking down the street, not only does one have to be super careful of slipping and breaking ones legs (hospitals are packed with broken peoples and can't cope with it) you also have to look out for cars slip sliding across the ice, and running you over!

You then get to the supermarket, and find that everything is out of stock, and everyone is panic buying supplies incase they get snowed in.

and guess what?!?! it's expected to last at least another week.

oh the fun times!

Welcome to 2010

So it's 3 days into the new year.  I sorta haven't made any resolutions.  well..... I made one, but I'm not sure it counts, cause it's only to renew my passport.

Christmas came and went.  I cooked Turkey.  It turned out quite well, considering it's my first Turkey.
Presents were had.  Time was spent a bit ill.

Got quite a few things, which is awesome. Got Wii Fit Plus, some books, some cooking stuff, Sanctury stuff, money.

The hubs and I had a stay planned in London.  We stayed 2 nights at the JW Marriott Park Lane.  The hotel was lovely, 5 star surroundings, clean, tidy, very nice.  The room, which was supposed to be a deluxe room was very small.  I'm positive that it wasn't a deluxe room.  Althought the hotel is 5 stars, the service wasn't.  Shame really.  Still good though.  We also went to see Avenue Q - which is brilliant.  If you haven't seen it, then you must go see it.  It's well worth it.

New Year was spent doing pretty much nothing.  The hubs and I finally finished Charmed.  Now we've started Farscape.  Lost is back in Feb, and there are a few other things we want to watch, House, Numb3rs and a few more I think.

My wisdom tooth is giving me problems again.  Seems to do it this time of year.  This time last year the emergency dentist told me that it had to come out.  Referred me to hospital, cause it's need to be done under GA, and they wouldn't do it (stupid NHS redtape).  I'm wondering if I can find a dentist who does that type of procedure in house?? hmmmmmmmmm.  the pain should alleviate in the next 5 - 7 days.  but still, I really should find a new dentist.

Waiting to hear back about my medical.  I'm sure it's all fine.  They were only testing for drugs and I've never touched drugs in my life, so that's ok.  Just need a start date then.
fingers crossed it comes through next week!

In other news (speaking of medical) I've finally seen the nuerologist, who confirms there is a problem, although he can't diagnoise and pinpoint it yet.  So he's sending me for an MRI scan, which is next Saturday afternoon.  However I've been booked in to work, so I'm hoping that someone will swap a shift with me.  fingers crossed, otherwise I'll lose a half days pay.  However I won't get the results until the 23rd March, as thats the next available appointment.  Seems he thinks there is a problem with my nerves.  Guess the MRI will show up what the problem is.  I hope so anyway, cause it's doing my head in.

So, yeah, 3 days into the new year, lets see how the rest of it turns out.